I remember back in school, whenever you’d ask anyone the question “Do you want to move abroad?”, literally everyone answered yes. Now, talking through this topic with friends abroad, I’ve noticed the answer isn’t as clear-cut anymore. Many still want to stay for an understandable reason: European/US countries are more developed, there are more opportunities here for skilled specialists, and on average life is more comfortable. And you can understand them (understand is putting it mildly) — who doesn’t want to live in comfort?
But for some, myself included, the answer isn’t so simple. Speaking for myself — I miss Kazakhstan, I miss my home. And feeling homesick, I started thinking, why exactly do I miss it? Of course, I missed my parents and my friends, and for a long time I thought what was pulling me home were the people dear to me who are still there. I think that’s true, but definitely not the whole truth. And I realized this through a simple thought experiment (thanks to the special relativity course). Imagine that, by some magic, all the people close to me now live in the US, I work here and I’m doing great. Would I still want to go back to Kazakhstan? I believe yes; I believe that even under those circumstances I’d want to return to Kazakhstan. Probably not to live and work, but it points to one important fact — I’m drawn home.
So what’s the actual reason? Over this past year in America I’ve noticed there’s a huge cultural gap between me and Americans (well, what a surprise!). In most cases we have different interests, conversation topics, and hobbies. It’s not that I can’t communicate with them normally. On the contrary, with a few American friends I have more to talk about than with many of my peers from Kazakhstan. But still, you can spot a trend — international students most often have a close circle of international students. They mix with local students, often very well, but when given the chance they end up in the circle of (their own) students with a similar background. The simple explanation is cultural similarity. People as social creatures want to feel they’re part of some community. Everyone can choose this community for themselves, but the pull of cultural similarity can be very strong at times. Spot a fellow Kazakhstani abroad and you’ll likely break into a smile and start a conversation — I’ve seen this happen plenty of times.
In the end, what I realized for myself is that I associate myself with Kazakh culture, and that’s why I have this draw toward where I feel it. Probably that’s why it’s specifically abroad that I learned to play “Адай” (don’t judge too harshly lol).
The sense of belonging to Kazakh culture I do have, and in my view it’s pretty strong, but a completely different topic is whether I’ll be able to truly find my place in Kazakhstan, at home. I don’t know yet :)